momentary hauntings

my brain, or heart, or whatever the hell it is that has been making the decisions around here - it does not cancel out the good because of the bad. rather, memories split apart into fragments over time and nothing is readily apparent except what decides to surface at that moment. i remember bits of the good stuff - that apparition comes back alone without context and i wonder why that something good is no longer present. i know i can muster up the why of this absense if i research or think about it enough, but that doesn't really register as prominently because those reasons are not as easily accessible as the hauntings choose to be. this is why i tend to want to forgive those that should not be forgiven, long after they are gone.

also, there are times when the anger is what floats to the top to revisit. it is welcome, but leaves a sad useless mess in its wake. as time goes on it too becomes fragmented. i wait for the day that it dissolves completely.