open letter

i was writing an email to my parents and i started getting sad. i was just trying to update them on my job hunting efforts, which transitioned into me describing my days, which transitioned into me confessing about how much i miss architecture. i miss drawing, and visualizing space, and hunting through catalogs, and solving problems and sketching them out, and coordinating plans. i know it sounds silly, but i know what i am. i was lucky to figure it out early in life. i just miss it, and all my time instead is spent not doing it but rather scrambling to get it back.