on the verge

it's quiet, but through the window i hear voices and movement down on the street below. memories of last night wash back and i try to take them at face value, to not distort them for the sake of making it easier seeing the replay. there are things that i should have let go, there are moments i should have embraced and did not. always too often letting fear take hold. why i linger and waste all this time regretting is something that puzzles me too. it's done, it's the next morning, try again.

i just wish and wish and wish and wish - and why can't i accept the now, the as is, the here is LIFE. life so amazing and curious and full if i would just let it be. just let it be. just let it be. just let it be.

i have thus expelled this neurosis into word format and will no longer be plagued by such insecurities until such time that it decides to rear its ugly head once more. such is the blog guarantee.