how and why

emotional pain chooses the weirdest of ways to physically manifest itself. sometimes it's a pressing on the chest, or the throat closes down and breathing is difficult. eyes squinting shut, brow furrowed and face scrunched. mouth open in a silent howl. fingers curled into claws. water leaks out and falls wherever it pleases.

it also chooses the weirdest times in which it decides this will occur. now would be perfect, quiet and alone behind walls and doors and night. it holds back, waiting for later. like at the supermarket while selecting tomatoes. in the middle of a work meeting. during a run around the park. how embarrassing to have to pull over during mile 2 to conceal a breakdown with a coughing fit and catching your breath.

concealment. god forbid everyone see your pain, and address it, and make it all the more real and all the more ridiculous.