ode to a wedding

we know this role. we have seen it, been it, misunderstood it, felt pity for it. that moment when you realize the singles table is not really, when the eighth wheel becomes the fifth becomes the third. when you realize that this path is so foreign that few brush have been cleared so why are we doing this again? it's less about about having someone magical doing tricks and more about how the interactions between an entire group fixate on their other instead of everyone. we are out together but there is this constant return to base camp. some married couples are better at drifting but the newer ones cannot stop touching. and apologizing for touching.

and i fight so hard to not be lonely. texting friends in other cities asking for hugs. because what else can we clarify about taking the other road. not easy, yes. lonely, sure. missing something important? probably. i can't break through. stop telling me i will. this is how it goes, this is where it sits. outside this hello.