seasonal change

going through the notions of what this upcoming fall is going to be like. i sort of want to pull away from people for a while and just disappear. i am curious what it would be like if i didn't go out to drink for three months - could i run faster? would i be more productive at work? save a shitload of money? regain that mental clarity i feel like i lost? so i'm going to try that for a little bit. it's hard to think of what to say to people sometimes when whiskey isn't saying it for me. my roommates are both gone this week so it's going to be quiet around here. sometimes i think about that guy in the photo to the left. not really him so much as when we were laying in bed together, the way his legs draped over mine. how when i see him now i have this gravitational pull to put my arm around his waist, slide my hand across his back, and hug. it's not my space anymore, but i still want to go there. if i don't drink, i won't. so that's probably another advantage there.

trying to find a new job. interviewed at a few spots. we'll see.

got a new bike, still working out the kinks.

i dated around for a while, i'm already bored with it.

going to start testing again soon, once the testing blackout is over.

not much else to report i guess. i started drawing again. my right hand hurts sometimes. it's just in this crappy thin papered moleskin. abstract scribbles, but it's something i guess. i need a better sketchbook.