what is my purpose

what is the point of being here, when everyone leaves. when time after time you make friends and they experience parts of life with you, only to up and depart because they have gotten married, or are having kids, or have decided life is better for them elsewhere. even if they are here they are moving and changing faster than you can blink. i'm still in this phase of figuring out how to talk to people properly and others have already fallen in love and taken so many leaps forward that i will never catch up. i don't even know how. what the fuck is the fucking point, when you are here alone, constantly pulling people towards you so you don't feel so alone. there has to be a limit. as i get older, it gets to be more pathetic, right? people in their 40s look weird on this playground. thing is i know i won't belong here soon, but i really don't know where else to go after it dissolves.