good fucking lord

i need someone to whom i can vent. a punching bag i can slaughter. pavement i can demolish. something somewhere that can handle all the shit i want to throw, all this irritation and rage that is building building building building building architecture building bullshit.

fuck it. i'm too angry to write, too tense and shaking explosion waiting. hulk smash keyboard! fuck it. FUCK. IT.


addendum - i am very frustrated with my project at work and under a lot of pressure even though the certainty of a future of this project or even my job isn't known. also at a juncture of trying to decide what the next step in my career is, if i should job hunt now or until i'm on unemployment, should i stay in new york or go back to los angeles or... where? all these things swirling about are just increasing my stress levels exponentially. the perfectionist in me doesn't handle these types of changes and uncertainties very well. also, there are only so many ways you can say "i am awesome, hire me" in a cover letter before you start to sound like a broken record.