addendum

wow i was really irritated last night. i'm still irritated this morning, but in a more sober way. i wish the world didn't need to couple off. i also wish i could interact with people one on one and not be interrupted or treated as lesser b/c of the "significance" of an other. i'm just frustrated and it's hard to explain that frustration. i'm at the age where there are less and less people wandering wondering like me. some might think the solution is to find my own other, so i can hole up and rot in my own coupledom. that sounds great, i can't wait to suck! i know what that could be like and i just don't see it working. i just want to live as an individual and experience people as individuals, not better halfs. what is with that expression, anyway? better half? do you really think so less of yourself that you are reduced to half, and you're not even the good half?

oh well. i'm in the extreme minority here, so i'm going to shut up now.

actually, no wait there is one more thing. you, the person reading my blog via the anonymous proxy - i know who you are. we all know who you are. you said a long time ago you would stop reading, and yet here you are. is it really that interesting for you? are you just eating it up, knowing what's supposedly going on in my life even though we don't talk anymore? you do realize that you're missing 99.99999999% of what is actually occuring to me, right? and you do realize how pathetic it is that you keep coming back for that .00000001%? you realize it, right? good, just so long as you're aware of where you stand.