anger then discomfort then laughter

this morning i had my usual bike ride into work - two blocks to go and this idiot girl with white headphones stuffed in her ears decides to jaywalk, pausing on the double yellows in the middle of a two way, keeping her gaze up the street so as to watch for traffic from the other direction. little did she know that while traffic from MY direction was mostly paused, i was not. bikes move at a different speed than cars. screaming on the tops of my lungs did not seem to get her attention in the slightest, so i had to swerve into oncoming traffic to avoid her, and swerve right back out of it to avoid a head-on collision. THUS (note to all you fuckhead ipod headphone drones out there) if you insist on removing one of your five major senses that - oh i don't know - keeps you from dying, at least have the decency to watch where the FUCK you are going!

this afternoon i logged onto facebook only to log off in a panic. my alcoholic older brother was on, sending me messages through chat. "hey sis" "what's on" before i closed the window in a fright. i had seen his page recently, with confusing personal updates of scrambled and mispelled words beyond being able to piece anything coherent together. either he was drinking when he wrote them, or his brain cells are so far gone that he cannot communicate to the outside world. i freaked out. i have never been able to handle this - none of us can. this christmas i will go home and see my parents and he won't be there, thankfully and sadly, because he will be spending christmas alone yet again wherever he is in the same city as us.

this evening i settled in to watch a pile up of dvd rentals from netflix. haflway into a disc of Coupling, there was an episode called naked about my favorite character jeff. i wasn't expecting to laugh and laugh and laugh, with tears and aches in the belly from so much laughter, more than i have had all year combined - but there you have it.