musical madness

all the songs from this musical loop thread my head, over and over. i am incapable of getting anything else stuck there, so it's either giants in the sky or greens greens or your fault or some little instrumental section. the worst is that even though i'm right there hearing this everyday, i still don't know the lyrics, so i can't even sing along to the song in my head!

i'm tired. since i'm down in brooklyn and the theater is on the upper east side, it takes a long time to get home after the show is over. when you are far enough out, even an express train can feel too much like a local. last night i just came in and collapsed, had a wonderful dream about rollerblading where i was in complete control of everything, fast and all over the place, and i could bend my body and lean so far to the ground in a way you just can't do in real life.

the show opens tonight. i'm a bit nervous because i'm still not hitting all my cues and i've been mucking up a few solos which is incredibly embarrassing. people are always thanking me for playing in the orchestra, even the director, but if only they knew about those few important measures i missed, or that part where it was quiet that was actually supposed to be filled with music created by me. so thank yous make me feel bad and i just don't know how to reply. i think i'll kick out of work early and go practice before curtain call. i'm getting better each night, but i'm not ready. by the end of the show i'll have it all down... for whatever good that will do.

wish me luck. or don't, i think theater folk are still superstitious about that. whatever, here goes.